Never Ending Roller Coaster Ride

This place is like a never ending roller coaster ride…and you can find the biggest drops within the same days. The kind of drops that send your stomach to your throat and make you want to get the heck off the ride…or get the heck off this island that is in the middle of no where.

Well, maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe I would just like a break and then get back on…

I just can’t stand the constant “where are you coming from, who did you talk with, what did they say, what else did they say, where are you going now, what are you going to do there, who are you going with, when are you going to come home,” and the lack of effort and enthusiasm from the teachers. It drives me insane and just puts me in a bad mood sometimes. I still love it tons, but the smallest things have the ability to just put me in a ‘screw this’ mood.

I had a big meeting with all the teachers the other day to discuss their work ethic and talk about what their job title actually entails. I informed them that it does NOT involve: not having class because you want to go use your cell phone, sitting and socializing with the neighbors while they make cobra, bringing a 2 year old to class everyday, coming in 30 plus minutes late to class, letting your students run around free, or sitting in the corner of the room and not moving just because that is where the breeze is. It was a last minute meeting but I simply couldn’t hold my patience after Fancy was 20 minutes late in the morning, 35 minutes late after lunch and let her last class out 25 minutes early; and she took care of a screaming 2 year old the whole time she was actually at school, leaving periodically to feed him. Poor 4th and 5th graders. The kids here have the rare ability to love school – and to think that the reason they aren’t learning is because of the teachers inability to teach, or even care, makes me go crazy. I had a 5 year old complaining that we had so much time off for school yesterday!!! “I lukkun konan jikul. Taylorrrr etke ejelok jikul. Jouj im jikullllll. Jikul ej lukkun emman ippa.” (I really want school, why isn’t there school. Please school. School is my favorite.) I don’t think you could ever pay a kid to say that! It was so cute to hear – and it reminded me why I am here and took a bit of the day’s frustrations away.

The statement was perfect timing too! JunJun and I were biking to a random place in the jungle to hang out....just away from all kids…but I brought Jelina too because I love her and she always makes me laugh. The jambo was initiated by my frustration with school and the seemingly pointless meeting I had the day before (Fancy was still 25 minutes late). The PTA was supposed to work on the wall but all they did was eat instead. It drove me insane and I was just having a ‘need to get out of here moment.’ So I was sitting with Jelina thinking of what I could do to just go away and JunJun came up on his bike and said ‘itok, jambo.’ Perfect timing. Jelina hopped on my bike with me and we biked about 30 minutes away and just sat singing, playing and laughing on coconut trees and the beach. It was exactly what I needed. It’s the fact that that type of retreat is always here that saves my sanity I think. It can fix anything!

Now I am back and just hoping that I can get out of this irritable mood. When I am around some people I am completely fine, but then one person who I can’t stand will come and annoy me all over again – I think I have a hard time separating the kids from life and the classroom. The kids that are a disaster in class tend to cling all over me away from school and it drives me insane. It’s really strange having no separation of school and life; sometimes is good and sometimes its bad.