My Kids - Saying Good Bye on the dock

One last look at my house

My garden actually grew!!

June 16, 2009


Flatness and great emptiness as far as you can see, extreme monotony as you sail for hour after hour, getting seemingly nowhere. The ocean going on and on and on into the horizon.

Incredible.

I am nearing the end of my sailing trip to Fiji and so far it has been amazing. I grew up hearing story after story from my parents and always thought sailing sounded like a blast. Well, it is. I love it. Way cool. I boarded the yacht two weeks ago, not knowing the mainsail from the jib, a square knot from a granny hitch or the halyard from the sheet hitch. But, I got it now! I can put sails up, take ‘em down, thrown reefs in them and even tell you where the wind is coming from and what we should probably do. It was all very fascinating to learn and I think easy to pick up because I was so interested in it. Sailing is definitely something I am going to want to do more of when I go home…dad…maybe you should buy a sailboat. ☺

The weather on the trip for the most part has been beautiful. We had an excellent first 4 days, not too windward, and then once we got a bit south of the equator have been a bit harder on the wind – meaning the ride has been a bit more unsteady and we spend a lot of time heeled over. The first few times water came rushing onto the starboard side over the edges as it plunged into the water on the downfall of the wave I was a bit freaked out , thinking we were tipping over or something, but soon learned that that is pretty standard. Haha I thought for sure we were gonners though, and Chuck pretty much had a field day with my naivety of the seas. I learned quickly though and he was actually really great about teaching me everything I needed and wanted to know. Very patient and very understanding.

As the cook I have only had one spill cooking…but I ATE it. One second I was mixing sesame noodles and preparing to plate them up and the next second I was on the ground on the other side of the boat with a four inch long, half an inch high, lump on my head from whacking some wooden thing – and a number of tender spots along my body that later turned into beautiful arrays of purple and blue. It probably could have been a lot worse though, so I was just thankful there was no blood and no vomiting after the head bang. Aside from that one mishap there hasn’t been anything else too terrible and it’s been fairly enjoyable. We are about 100 miles outside of Fiji right now and are expecting to enter the pass tomorrow morning and check in with customs in the early afternoon if all goes according to plan.

One thing that I have really enjoyed while being out here is the pure and natural beauty. The sunsets and the sun rises are incredible. Our watch shifts are on a three hour schedule, so when I have the 6-9 PM and 3-6 AM watch I get to see both the sunset and sunrise, with brilliant stars and moon before and after each, and it is always amazing. No boundaries. I wish pictures could capture its brilliance and you could all see for yourselves, but they simply cannot. You see things sailing on the ocean that are completely different from any other. In pictures it is always beautiful and serene, no question; but you are a passive observer and you see it all through a boring frame. In reality, the camera does nothing to capture the essence of the sheer magnificence of the sunsets and sunrises, the breeze and the spray and the wildlife playing all around you. On the boat the frame is gone. You are completely in contact with it all. You’re in the scene and the sense of presence is overwhelming at times. The ocean is whizzing by spraying your face as waves break over the bow of the boat. The last bit of warmth from the days beating sun touches your face and brilliant colors bleed into the sky and the sun sets. The whole experience is never removed from immediate consciousness; however when you put it into a picture is simply isn’t the same. The wholeness, the reality and the true beauty of it all is lost in the frame. It is a bit of a sad thought, yet I hope the pictures I do have will always serve as memory triggers for what the real experience was like.

Well, this up and down of the waves and intended concentration on a steady screen aren’t mixing too well at the moment, so I think I am going to get going. Don’t feel like barfing right now. I will bu in Fiji for about a week though so I will try and update you all again about the fun things I find to do over there.

Take care,
Tay

May 24, 2009

It is 6:30 at night and I am going back to Majuro tomorrow morning at 10:00. All the girls and boys are at my house continuing their marathon sleep over that they started 2 nights ago after my party and they are in the cookhouse eating and playing games.
Friday night way my going away party and it was truly amazing. Before the party started we had our final assembly and passed out end of the year awards and report cards. Rather than having each class give individual performances we did one large one and had been practicing after school for over a week; we sang “We’ve Got the Whole World in Our Hands.” It was perfect. The classes stood in lines, basically looked like a choir, and acted out the hand motions that we made to go along with the words. We changed the words slightly, to make it a bit more personalized, and watching them all sing each and every word, even the little kinders, made the hairs on my body stand up and filled my face with a smile and eyes with tears. The tremendous about of pride I held in these kids at that very moment was overwhelming. They could not have sung it with more joy and delight in their voices. It was extraordinary.

After the assembly ended we had a traditional Marshallese meal, with all my favorite kinds of Marshallese food, and then continued on to the Yokwe eok party – the traditional going away party thrown for people leaving the island for an undefined amount of time. The part started with the entire community standing in front of me, as I sat timidly in a chair, singing songs. They sang at least 10 songs and the kids were all dancing and having a blast. The women of the community pulled their silly little gigs, trying to dance with the men and embarrass them, and everyone really just had fun. When the music would get a little faster the little kids would come out to the font and get down. There is something about watching a 5 year old Marshallese kid dance like they are in a MTV music video…highly amusing. The little girls shaking their hips and shoulders like Shakira and the boys braking it down like any rapper. Indescribably precious…yet probably should be wrong. Who knows where on earth get these moves…not going to lie I picked up a couple good ones my self from the 5 year old crowd. They had a few things to teach me.

After the fun and dancing was one everyone circled up for one last song. You can probably guess this is about where I lost it…although I started to lose it a bit in the beginning before all the dancing started. During this last song everyone walked around in a circle and gave me one piece of amimano that they had either made themselves or asked someone to make for them. I got everything from jewelry to picture frames to wall hangings to ornaments to bags. You name it, they can make it beautifully out of coconut or pandanus leaves. The students were first in line and each shook my hand and gave me a hug (I was a mess). Some didn’t really understand what was going on, but others gave me their gifts as they smiled at me through tear filled eyes and wet cheeks. The hardest was seeing my older girls, those who I bonded with most and spend the most time with, as well as the boys and girls I hung out with all the time at my first house: Jelina, Michael, Lora and Lizzy. They were my little crew and I absolutely love them; smart, helpful, kind, fun and loving. It was heartbreaking to think I would be saying good-bye for a good while so soon.
After the students it was the women and then the men. Some stopped and said kind words and I did my best to listen as I tried my best to stay composed. Holding back the tears was a lost cause, but keeping my head up and smiling was what I tried to focus on now. After everyone in the town had made their way around the circle everyone returned to the front and some gave speeches. They thanked me profusely for my help over the year and really just said very nice things. About 10 people spoke, mostly men (as is Marshallese culture) but a few women spoke as well and all was very touching. After they all spoke I stood up and gave a speech as well thanking them for absolutely everything they gave to me throughout the past year. I talked about how special everyone was to me, how much I appreciated their unremitting patience with my learning and understanding of Marshallese culture and language, and basically how much I had fallen in love with Lukoj and loved every bit of my year. It took slightly longer than the average 3 composition notebook page speech would generally take…but that was pretty much expected.
After that was finished, a closing prayer was said and we all kind of went our separate ways. Michael and Jelina wanted to help bring stuff back to my house after, so we all piled my things in the wheelbarrow and headed down the dark dirt road. At my house, JunJun got the guitar and we all piled on to the hammock and played music and sang for a long, long time. Me, Jelina curled on my lap, JunJun, Michael, Lora, Talin, and Hemlyna. We didn’t go out there until probably about 1 A.M. but we stayed out there laughing, reminiscing, playing and singing until the first pink light seeped above the horizon adding color to the fading black sky.

Sitting here now, preparing to leave, I don’t think there are words or even feelings great enough to capture my emotions. My life as I know it right now is all about to change again and I am going to leave everything and everyone that is a part of who I am right now on Lukoj, tomorrow; only physically though.

I would be lying if I said no part of me was excited - going home soon, sailing to Fiji and then to Samoa – but that part of my emotion is buried right now and all I can see is the pain of leaving. The past six months have been incredible. The relationships I have formed with Lona and Jeffry, as well as many people in the community, and the life that I have grown so accustomed to. There are no worries in life here. I don’t want it to sound like I am now against my former way of life in America, because I in no way am, but I just love everything about being out here so much right now.

There are no worries about money, no rushes, no pressures, no hassles of media and busy life. Life is very much community oriented, as opposed to rather individualistic mindset of America; and I have really enjoyed adjusting to that. Everything is back to the basics. Everything you need done, you do it, and often times without the aid of technology: cooking, washing, work, just living. In America we are in such a hurry most of the time we never get a chance to enjoy simplicities and talk to our friends and family. The result is a kind of endless day-to-day monotony that leaves you wondering where the time has slipped away to. Here, the highlight of everyone’s day is talking and work is done on a basic daily need: cleaning clothes, weeding, cooking, making copra to buy food. There aren’t any other options. When you do something work related, you do it because you need to; there are no in betweens with work and the option to not do it doesn’t exist…if you want to lead a ‘comfortable’ life. All the while, in an environment free of all media, at the beginning of the day, the middle and the end you talk to your friends. You hear endless stories about their life, you get their daily happenings and you really are able to build meaningful relationships fast. You never lost touch with the understanding of how your friends and family are because you are always so close and so informed.

One thing I really hope to take back with me to America is this genuine care and interest that I have seen so much of here in the Marshalls. I am not saying this doesn’t exist in America, because I certainly feel that my close friends and family back home cared a lot and showed a great amount of genuine daily interest, and hope I give the same. I would like to bring it back on a more broad spectrum though, and really just enhance my awareness of the well being of the people in my life.

This past week, with no school, has been the best by far. As I mentioned earlier the kids have been at my house non-stop and we have been having a blast. We have been cleaning out my house and at night there are anywhere from 5 to 15 kids just passed out all over the floor of my house. Lona had to go to Majuro on Friday because the baby is in the hospital and I have been the ‘woman’ of the house. Haha it has been so much fun, and there is actually something quite satisfying about it showing myself that I could make it out here and have a household. (I told this to my mom and her response was, “Taylor McFarlane, don’t you even think about it…”) I have gotten up early, raked the lawn, cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for all the guys on the ocean side and Jeffery, washed all the guys clothes and mine as well and really just ran the house. It was awesome. Hahah I felt so accomplished. All the woman in the community thought it was hilarious and were impressed. They would stop by on their ways to and from church and constantly told me how much I needed to just stay in Lukoj because I am not American anymore, I am Marshallese. There is about 49% of me that wishes I could just stay – I know I would be happy – but the 51% of myself that is telling me to go home will factually have to take the win. That said however, there is an endless list of things I will miss about this place and so much that will now be with me forever; their dogmas and goals, values and ways have engrained themselves into my being.

Knowing this, the adjustment back into American life will certainly be strange and you all will probably have to put up with lots of strange mannerisms, sounds, facial expressions, words and habits for a bit. I tend to make some pretty foul faces now that I seem to think are normal reactions to saying “I don’t know.” I may speak a mixture of Marshallese and English for a while because I actually have to think before speaking in English now. Marshallese words tend to slip into my sentences and I may not notice and think it’s totally normal. I tend to just pick up little children now, even if I don’t know who they belong to, but in America people may look at this as a kidnapping attempt. Going to have to stop that one. I eat most everything with my hands and you may need to remind me to use a fork, as well as a napkin. I think showing my knees is about the equivalent of walking around in underwear, so it may take me a while to get into a bikini at the beach or wear anything above the knee. I wear a very fashionable comb in my hair every day – but I think it may only be appropriate for an 80’s party back in the states. Outrageous colors of clothing tend to always match in my mind now and my outfits could resemble something related to a Crayola box. If you tell me we are going to dinner at 6:30 I may not to ready to go until 8 or 9…so I guess the only person I may be eating dinner with for a while is Whitney Desena…that’s about her time frame too. Lucky me. I might forget that there are other foods other than pancakes and rice…but actually on second thought it could go the other way – I may forget there are things other than fruits and vegetables because I haven’t had any in a year. I could probably go on with strange things I may do and say for a number of pages, but all of you will be able to make your own list soon enough.

Dinnertime is coming to an end evidently, as kids are starting to trickle back into my house and decorate themselves with the things I am leaving behind. Fready has some nice bracelets all up his arm and Hemlyna has about 3 outfits worth of clothing on her body as she is covering her face with sweat pea scented hand sanitizer. Cute.

Now, my spirits seem to have waned with the sun, as I watched it set for the last time on the Pelakin shore. I think it is time to go play with my kids and enjoy every last minute with them, making even more lasting memories. I have no doubt they can find my smile that I have seemingly lost somewhere in the midst of this entry.

If I were to go back and give myself one piece of advice, 10 months ago, I believe I would have told myself this: You should not evaluate and instantaneously judge what you see. Keep your mind a blank tablet, which nature’s course will fill, and then reason objectively from the facts we observe. You are in their reality; and it is your reality that must change if you want to me happy.

Thank goodness I figured that out. Maybe a bit late, but not so late that I was not able to make this year one of the best and most memorable of my life.

Thank you all immensely for your lasting support and encouragement you showed throughout to year. You letters and packages help get me through the days and I appreciated them all beyond words. I can’t wait to be home and see everyone again. I will be in Majuro for a few short days before going to Fiji, but I probably wont get a chance to write much more until Fiji. I have a million and one things to do before heading out – as I learned I will be in Majuro for only a few days as opposed to the original 3-4 weeks. Things are already starting to move faster! Never expected something to done before the estimated time in the RMI…crazy. Anyway, I hope to write when I get to Fiji and tell you all a little bit about my sailing adventure.

Hope all is well at home and everyone is enjoying summer! See you all on the other side soon!!!!

Lots of love,
Tay

May 19, 2009

Less than a week to go and my year of teaching in the RMI will come to a close. It seems like just yesterday I was getting ready to come out here and sending you all e-mail’s telling you about my blog. Sorry it hasn’t been the most constant of reading sources…but it gets done eventually.

School ended yesterday and we started our clean up today. Finals went from Thursday until today and of course Tari was in Majuro, drunk, for all of them. For some reason Movie allowed him to “quickly go to Majuro” but that quick trip turned into the trip with no return, so his kids didn’t get to really finish out the year. I could have told you there was no more chance of him coming back before school ended than there was of a monkey typing a coherent sentence on a typewriter…but so be the reality. My kids, however, all had a great few days of assessments and parties and it was an ending that much embodied the entire year I felt. The older kids had a bit more of a test, but the younger ones just filled out simple assessments – more for next years volunteer – and then did arts and crafts, played games and ate donuts. The test and assessments were extremely representative of the progress made by various individuals and the lack there of in others; and I found a great deal of satisfaction in looking over the tests. It’s a strange thing measuring the success of these students, mostly due to the fact because everyone is so drastically different in their levels of knowledge. That was one of the hardest things to get used to in teaching this year. Lots of times I would look at where I was going with the curriculum and where I was and it would never make sense. But then, I would look back at where we had been and patterns seemed to emerge. Then, projecting forward from the patterns, I felt I was more able to come up with things that proved useful in tackling the predicament of clustered classrooms filled diverse levels. It wasn’t always easy, but a lot of things ended up working and it was gratifying to see the results of our work at the end of the year. Teaching is very much a delayed gratification profession in my opinion and it is often easy to see the frustrations before everything else. But then, you get the one student who stays after to ask questions, or the shy student who raises his or her hand and give you a brilliant answer from left field, or the little note from the boy who wins a spelling bee thanking you, and even if you have a mountainous pile of frustrations from the day, they all seem to melt away instantaneously.

For as much as I complained about teaching at times this year, I don’t regret this year for a second and I will miss all of my kids and our fun classes together every single day. We had a lot of fun and learned a lot together and from one another this year, and I will never look back on it with anything but a smile.

May 2, 2009

I am sailing to Fiji on a yacht! YIKES. I never thought this would actually become a reality. WOW. A couple of weeks ago while I was in Majuro I trying to figure out how I was going to get down to Samoa before I went home. I had been looking at plane tickets, however, apparently it is next to impossible to fly from Majuro to Samoa without going to about 9 different places first. So that was a big frustration.

When we went out to Enneko though, someone had suggested trying to find a yacht that was headed down to Fiji and from there it would be relatively easy to fly over to Samoa. Upon doing a bit of research I met up with a guy named Chuck, who was planning to head out early May. Even though that was a bit early for my liking I figured this was the Marshalls…things don’t always happen on time…I may as well talk to the guy. So while in Majuro, we met up at RRE and got to know one another a bit. From what I heard, it didn’t sound very likely, as there was already a crewmember on board (he generally only takes one) and he was planning to leave May 1. He seemed like a nice guy though and he told me to keep in touch to see if anything had changed. I told him I would be back in Majuro on May 1st and I would give him a call then.

So May 1st rolls around, I come in on the Kirataki, and Chuck is standing on the dock drinking a beer. ‘AWESOME’ I think, ‘he didn’t leave. There is some hope.’ I get off the boat and quickly learn that he ended up ordering some new sails and has to wait for them to come in…it should be about four to six weeks. “Perfect timing,” I am thinking. So he tells me this news and then invites me to come ‘meet this boat’ that night and have dinner with a few of his friends. My hope slowly began to rise at this point, but I didn’t want to get too excited because I had almost written the possibility off last time I left because it really was looking like a one in a hundred chance. That night I went out for dinner and we had a great time; he seemed like a great guy with hilarious stories. After talking for a while, I had convinced him that I could cook (per advice from the former sailor himself, Jimmy Mac) and we even figured out that he and my dad had a lot of connections from sailing in the Caribbean and up in ME back in the day. Crazy how the more you see of the world, the smaller it seems to become. Anyway, we really seemed to have a good time and I think he really liked that I could cook and we had some connections. I think he also assumed that since my dad used to be a sailor I may know a thing or two…but that is DEFINITELY not the case. I don’t even know what side is port and what side is starboard. Haha I did tell him I hadn’t really sailed before though and he didn’t seem to mind. He brought me back to shore after dinner and that was that for the night.

This morning rolls around and I get a call from Chuck around 9…right as I am getting ready to head back to Arno…and he was calling to invite me as crew (the cook) on his trip to Fiji. I think I tinkled a little bit, I was so excited. Not only was I excited because I could now go to Samoa without flying around the world first, I was also going to learn how to sail! Growing up I listened to stories of my dad sailing practically every night…and I always was so envious. I wanted to do that. I wanted to sail, and be part of a crew, and cook on a boat, and have my own stories of sharks eating all the dishes because I was lazy and decided to drag them behind the boat instead of washing them. That all sounded like so much fun. Now I can do all that! I may try to save the plates and learn from one of Jimmy Mac’s mistakes – but I am sure I will have my own screw up stories. I am just incredibly excited to have this opportunity and already can’t wait.

We aren’t sure of the exact departure date but he is thinking around the end of June…giving the new sails four to six weeks to arrive. There is also going to be one other person on board for the trip – Heather. Heather got off another boat here in January and has been looking for a ride ‘anywhere but here,’ as she describes it. She is in her 40’s and was a professional basketball player and coach in Germany for 18 years. She seems like a very independent, tough, funny and laid back girl and I really think the trip should be great.

So on this newfound high I am going to head back to Arno and finish my last 2 weeks of school. Insane. We have 2 more weeks of classes and finals and then we have one last weeks of clean up, assemblies and parties. School for the past few weeks has been a bit of a struggle – as most everyone is already in summer vacation mode. The parents are ready to be done with the teachers and meetings – and the kids are ready to be done with studying and school (although they don’t really study anyways). Attendance is down to about ¾ on a daily basis and drops to about ½ when we get around the weekends. I have tried setting incentives to come to school but you find the same kids coming every day and the same kids cutting. There really isn’t much you can do. We have been playing a lot more English games lately and doing more fun, hands on projects. I don’t think we are really going to do finals – although we are supposed to – I simply do not see the benefit in giving elementary school kids who don’t really know what studying is, a final. It seems a little silly to me. We don’t even have finals in these grades in the states. If anything I will give them a general assessment test that I can give to next years volunteer as a bit of a starting point – but nothing that will count towards their final grade.

This Friday we also have out spelling bee coming up. For the past couple weeks I have been organizing and planning a spelling bee between Lukoj, Arno and Ulien. I put together a list of 250 words and distributed them to the kids of the three towns. I got food donated from MOE and we will have lunch as a break between the two levels. We are going to have two groups – grades 5-6 and grades 7-8. Because Lukoj is different and there is no class 8 we are just going to be down one grade – so we will have 4-5 and 6-7. We may be at a slight disadvantage…but my kids will be fine. They LOVE spelling and we will do lots of practice! We will be spending this week getting ready to kick some Arno and Ulien butt.

May 7, 2009

Happy Birthday Begegak! I am thinking of you on this wonderfulllll day and wishing I could be there to celebrate with you. I hope you have a fabulous day and are getting ready for a HUGE reunion in just a few short months. I LOVE YOU…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! PS…I fulfilled one of my 101 things to do list entries the other night…so when you get the list you can check off sleep under the stars. It wasn’t the way I exactly wanted it to happen…get stranded waiting for the truck to come (that never does) and ended up sleeping on the Arno dock…but it was a goal and I fulfilled it none the less. Haha so there’s one down for us.

May 8, 2009

I am so proud of my little kids. Ah, I love them so much. CONGRATULATIONS TENSON AND MARLYNNA. Lukoj kids won both the 5-6 and 7-8 grade spelling bee contents. WOO HOO. Tenson who is in 5th won for the younger guys and Marlynna who is in 7th won for the older kids. The reason I am most proud of them too, is because they won on words they haden’t even studied…it showed that they really started understanding how sounds work and are able to sound bigger words out in English! (Oh how the things that excite us can change) The younger kids started in the morning and Lukoj did exceptionally well. We had 2 of the top 3 left standing after 21 rounds that started with 18 students. (Each town had 6 kids from each grade cluster.) Lora, who was actually only in 4th grade and Tenson. Each student was allowed two strikes and after the second they were out. After 17 rounds all of the initial words were used up and we had to move to bonus words that had not been given to them.


Lora and Tenson held on for a few more round, but in the end it was Tenson who prevailed! Lora went out third and then there were only two. In the last round the boy from Ulien misspelled the word ‘trouble’ and it was up to Lukoj. My heard started racing and a huge smile crossed my face as I sat staring at him in anticipation. My legs were jittering and my fingers were intertwining every which way as I silently spelled the word in may head…thinking it might transmit to him??? Who knows. I really had no idea if he was going to be able to spell the word, but something in the back of my mind said that he could. Maybe it was the sly little glance he threw my way when the first boy spelled it incorrectly. “Tenson, if you can spell the word trouble correctly you will be declared the winner of today’s spelling bee,” Michael said. “Please spell the word trouble.” “T-R-O…” he started. And then paused. Come on, I thought to myself, get the U, get the U. AND he did! “-U-B-L-E” he continued and rattled off without hesitation. The room erupted in applause; I gave a little yelp and a big clap. Tenson calmly turned his head down attempting to hide the enormous smile on his face and shyly walked back to his seat. I was so proud of him. Here was a kid who just proved to the rest of his fellow students that it was possible to have fun every day and still study. Imagine that. Fun and studying. Who would have ever thought you can make studying part of your fun. That is just what Tenson, Lora and Michael did and surprise surprised they were the last three standing from Lukoj. Every night they made a little group outside the church, brought their spelling books and studied for over an hour. They would start by singing songs and then play spelling games they made up themselves.
For the older kids Matlynna was able to out-spell all the 8th graders of the three towns and take another win for Lukoj. Their rounds were not quite as lengthy, and the other 5 kids from my school were out in the first couple rounds. (Not surprising, as they are the class that has the most trouble with school and is unable to prioritize school and playing.) Anyways, the last 4 rounds were Marlynna and 4 8th graders from Ulien and after the first of the last 4 we had to again move onto words that were not on the original list. Marlynna breezed through the first few words and her final word was hypothesis. The first student spelled it incorrectly and then it was up to mine. I won’t lie I was a bit nervous and wasn’t entirely sure she would get it. To my elation though she spoke the letters loudly and fluidly as if she had just finished studying the word. Incredible! And there was win number two for Lukoj on the day of the spelling bee!!! Watching how all of Lukoj students responded to the incentive of prizes and recognition, and the success of the top two especially, really put a lot of this year and the reality of my students into perspective for me. It is not that they are stubborn, or narrow-minded, or stupid, or lazy or don’t care - as one may naively think looking at them on a surface level - its just that they don’t know how or what to do. It was a waste of my time earlier this year going round and round and round looking for an answer that didn’t exist. Why don’t these kids have any idea what the principle of school is? They simply don’t know. They have never been taught what studying is. They don’t understand the concept of homework. They have never seen dedication to school – through teachers or parents – so where are they going to get it from? They haven’t really watched their brothers and sisters succeed, only a select few have had that opportunity, however this is because the possibility has rarely existed.

Only last year were they introduced to WorldTeach, and only so much can change in a year where the culture and attitude is so drastically different from what it needs to be. The school system of the outer islands has long been so lackadaisical that no one has ever taught these people what the true meaning and value of education is. So few people understand the possibilities that exist outside of their tiny world; and it is far from their fault. If you were to put 20 kids on basketball court, and they had only ever held a ball and seen in played a few times, the result of their games would be about the same as the result of education in Lukoj. They wouldn’t know how. And if they continued without coaches their improvement would be excruciatingly slow and they most likely would have an extremely difficult time amounting to a team of excellence. If you add proper coaches and positive influences and incentives, however, the learning curve will be substantially greater and the kids will have a much better chance at success.

So while it is easy to get frustrated with their seemingly careless ways of going about school I have to always remind myself it is not their fault. They can not fix something they don’t know to be broken and in their mind they are simply following what everyone in front of them has done and what they have been taught; church and work first and school if there is time.

Anyway, now that our spelling bee is over, we are heading into the last 2 weeks of school. I think I may take a trip down to Ine and visit Rachel this weekend and possibly go out to the small islands that Melissa and I ventured out to earlier in the year. For now though I am going to relax at Francis’ for the night and help Anitak work the store. That is my new side job btw…I am the cashier at the store whenever I come to Arno! Hah One of the workers went back to the Philippines, so whenever I come I give Anitak a break and work for a few hours. It is actually quite entertaining!

May 11, 2009

Went to Ine this weekend for a visit with Rachel and MAN are my legs are tired. I don’t think I have ever walked so much in a two day span in my life. Saturday morning I got up early at Francis’ place and walked back to Lukoj. I had told Rachel earlier in the week I would come down so I decided since I hadn’t talked to her she was probably still expecting that…so what the heck…a little walk won’t be bad. Well, the walk wasn’t so little. At around lunch time I convinced JunJun to do the walk with me so it wouldn’t be quite so long and boring – and that was a good decision. We left at 12 and go there at around 4:30; and we only made one pit stop for water. Yikes. Once we got there he wondered off to a relatives house and I went to Rachel’s and essentially crashed. She had the bright idea of going for a walk, but I vetoed that in about .2 seconds. The next morning the two of us got up around 8 and decided we were going to do the small island trips. We packed a lunch and some snorkel gear and went to find JunJun. We walked about 2 hours to where the beginnings of the Islands are and then about 45 minutes out onto all the different individual pieces of land. We took a few breaks to go snorkeling and really had a good time. Thinking of the rest of my day though, at around 12:30 I suggested we head back so we could rest at least a little bit more walking all the way back to Lukoj. YIKES. So we walked almost 3 hours back to Ine, to Rachels house, and then after a SHORT 20 minute break and a bowl of rice and tuna JunJun and I set out for Lukoj again. This trip was a bit on the slower side and the last hour was in the pitch black. NOT fun. Coconuts and large puddles aren’t glow in the dark and there are a LOT of them on the last hour of the walk. We finally made it back at around 8:30 and I was absolutely dead. Not saying it wasn’t a fun day, it was simply more walking then I think I have ever and probably will ever do in one day.

Easter in Lukoj

April 9,2009

Sorrry for the delay in posts. . . my computer had to be sent back stateside to get fix so I couldn't send any clip drives to my mom to upload! It's back now, so lots of catching up to do.

Easter in Lukojtoday! The Easter Bunny can even find the Marshall Islands apparently…a little early though! Hah He came to Lukoj Elementary School last night and hid bunches and bunches of Easter eggs all around and inside the school. It was a blast!

Last night Lona and I spent the night packing Easter eggs with jelly beans and chocolate in anticipation of Lukoj’s first ever Easter egg hunt! The Marshallese are big into the Church aspect of the holiday, however, they have never really ventured into the bunny aspect…so I figured I would bring a little of the fun to the islands this year. After preparing the eggs, in fear of animals and kids finding them early we waited until just after dawn and went down to the school to hide them. From the bushes, to the garden to the roof and the cracks in the walls, we hid them everywhere. Inside and outside. Up and down. Lona and I even coiled one up into the buns in our hair and had those packed extra full with fun treats! We hid over 150.

When the kids began showing up to school we had them sit outside in a line in front of the garden. They weren’t allowed to move and they had do sit looking at a partner practicing their song we were singing at our final assembly. (an attempt to keep them distracted, didn’t exactly work.) By around 9:00 most of the students and shown up and we were ready to start. Before we would let them start though they had to get the teachers approval by singing an Easter song. It took a couple of tries to get everyone singing, but they got the hang of it eventually. After the song we divided the kids up into older classes and younger classes and gave them restricted areas; we wanted it to be fun for the little ones too. Grades 4 and below were inside the school only and grades 5 and above were outside only. Kinder got their school house in addition to inside the school with everyone else too. Everyone lined up and if you looked at the starting positions from afar you may be tricked into thinking you were watching the start of a 100 meter dash. It was hysterical. Counting down from three, at one the entire L.E.S school grounds turned into a zoo. Monkeys climbing, arms flailing, dashing around scooping up every colorful object they laid their eyes on. If an egg broke and the contents spilled onto the ground, they scooped up what they could on the fly by, threw it into their mouth and were on to their next target in an instant. It was like no Easter hunt I had ever witnessed; it was the best Easter hunt I had ever witnessed as well.


April 19, 2009

3 more weeks of school. That sounds insane. I just got back from taking our final break of the year and am now preparing to embark on the home stretch of this oddly incredible year.

Last week I went to Majuro for the week, and that was a nice break from Island life. I went in of Friday, spent the weekend out on Enneko with a bunch of the Majuro crew, and enjoyed a very relaxing and fun couple days. After Enneko I stayed in Majuro for a few days and actually toyed with the idea of staying in the RMI and working for another year. No worries though, I did let that thought go. I talked with the man who is in charge of the Music and Arts Society here in the Marshalls and was considering staying and doing field work for him as well as developing a website for the project he is currently working on. Looking at the pros and cons it would be great experience and was not an entirely bad option, however, when I really put some thought into it I decided I am quite ready to come home. So that is what I am doing.

After my nice break I headed back to Lukoj on Friday only to be quite embarrassed by our school. The plan before leaving for break was to have all the teachers back in Lukoj no later than Friday morning, because the Ministry of Education was planning a visit to assess the schools projects and progress. Before leaving I had made several attempts to conduct community meetings and prepare the parents – have a project for them to be working on when the MOE came to evaluate their work – however no one ever showed up to the meetings. Really, there was nothing more I could have done.

Anyway, I warned the teachers… “Have lesson plans ready…and we need to have summaries of the meetings we have held. Fancy, make sure you know where those are and bring them.” So all of the teachers go to Majuro on Friday and we are to return before the following Friday. Do you think this happens? Of course not. Not one teacher came back from Majuro. Tari was incredibly wasted at the dock and laughed at the secretary of Educations face when asked if he was coming back…Fancy was no where to be found…Lona said she didn’t have money…and Movie said she was sick. So I rode the boat over with the 4 MOE employees and we showed up to an empty school. The parents were told to prepare the school, clean it and bring refreshments for the workers; but there was not even a single kid at the school when we showed up. Imagine the embarrassment I felt then. I attempted an apology, but really what is that going to do? After thinking about it though, part of me was a little glad that this happened. Unfortunate but possibly true, maybe this is what it will take to get MOE’s attention and really make them understand that Lukoj has a few problems in way of the school. I think that that is what it actually did too…so in a strange sense I was a little bit glad that it happened.

After they finished taking photographs of the dilapidated school we dropped my things off and headed to Arno…where the town and teachers were prepared. My favorite part of the day though was when we were getting ready to leave Lukoj and go to Arno. As we were driving away our PTA chairman was walking down the road and noticed that I was on the truck accompanied by MOE employees. He stops the truck and proceeds to enquire what we are doing. “Well, we were supposed to have our meeting today, but there was no one at the school.” “What meeting?” he asked, as if I hadn’t told him about it 15 times last week. “The meeting I told you about a number of times last week and tried or organize a meeting about but no one showed up 3 times. That meeting.” “Oh…uh….well…hold on let me just go tell some people, they can make some coconuts and we can go to the school.” “That’s ok, maybe another time. We are done in Lukoj for the day. Thanks though.”

I think he may have been a little embarrassed, but frankly I didn’t care. Although that may have been rude of me, it was rude of the town to simply disregard all of the times I called a meeting. It didn’t really make me mad at this point, in fact, it almost made me a bit relieved.

In Arno we conducted workshops with the parents and teachers and talked about different ways the community can get involved with the school. There is such a large emphasis of church involvement that the schools tend to be forgotten about…and that is what the MOE is currently trying to change; they want to bring more awareness to education on the outer islands.

March 31, 2009

Some days I just can’t even really imagine how I am going to leave this place. To think that I will never see these people again…that the sound of the ocean as its breeze wont lull me to sleep every night…that I wont practically live my life outside and cooking all my meals literally survivor style. I just don’t think I will be able to function in a real world again. I actually legitimately scared. Jill…you’re going to have a LOT of work to do sweetheart. You are going to need to prepare yourself and make exceptions to my odd new mannerisms…as will everyone else I suppose. Haha It amazes me at times the degree to which I have changed…never for a second could I have predicted it. Looking at me now – through the eyes of myself eight months ago I would think it was a dream. Good or bad I don’t know – but certainly anything but reality. I cook all food from the fires I make myself from the copra I collect from the jungle, husk, chop with a machete, and carve out with a carving knife. I use my hands to mix everything and eat everything. I clean and gut raw fish and bite their parts with my mouth. I have taken a rather large hiatus from exercising. I think lying on the cement ground with a book as a pillow is a comfortable way to enjoy an afternoon nap. I think oversized, outrageously colored and designed dresses are fashionable. I think 2 hours is a very reasonable time to wait for people to arrive for a meeting or a ride to arrive. I rarely wear shoes to go outside. And I fluently speak a language that my little brother describes as “they sound like aliens.” Those are only a few of the changes…but they are all genuinely things I will miss when I do return stateside.

Luckily…I have 93 more days to take pleasure in the peculiarly enjoyable routines that frame my current life.

Life the past couple of days has been steady. I have also taken on the role of community nurse though and have been assuming that position for a few days. Rachel, the volunteer in Ine had the misfortune of getting some sort of virus and has been quite ill for several days now. Friday after school I went to Jebo with Atlynn and her family and stayed helping them move in until Sunday morning. That was a lot of fun and was quite relazing. Atlynn, Jumina and I cooked, played volleyball and helped set up the new church. Saturday night I cooked a pan of banana bread for Rachel, in anticipation of her birthday and was planning to walk to Ine Sunday after church. When I arrived in Ine to see the birthday girl however, I was greeted with a not so happy looking Rachel lying on the ground next to her designated puke bucket. After spending the night with her and seeing no improvement we decided it would be a good idea if she came back to Lukoj with me and went to the doctor in Arno to get some fluids in her – seeing how there was nothing staying in her body. That said, Monday was spent in the Arno ‘building that has a few medical resources,’ (it would be unfair to call it a doctors offices because there is nothing about it that is remotely clean, comfortable or sterile.) and two bags of fluid were put back into her body.

Today is Tuesday and things, although they are not great, are going in a somewhat positive direction. Spirits seem to rising and more and more seems to be staying in the correct place; so, we can’t complain about improvement. Other than the addition of nurse role to my lovely little life things have been steady. I adopted a no homework policy with my 6^th and 7^th graders and I think my blood pressure has probably fallen a few points. Although I feel bad not giving them homework, it is a seemingly pointless thing to do. It drives me crazy, it drives them crazy and it probably drives their parents crazy listening to me complain to them about it. So – I just erased that big headache. I have after school hours for English club where those who want to study and learn more are welcome to come in, and it is just a lot more satisfying to teach those who are genuinely interested to expanding their English knowledge and vocabulary.

Ok, that is all for now. Going to go cook up some delicious dinner…aka…canned vegetables, rice and tune with oil. Yummmmm.

March 23, 2009

Unintended blog break. My apologies. However, due to the fact that I do an average of 15 to 20 written pages a day, between making worksheets, writing lesson plans and writing letters, I decided that I was not going to hand write blog entries while I mailed my broken computer home to get fixes. I vaguely remember Phil questioning my decision to bring my computer, per the large note in capital black letter that said DON’T BRING YOUR COMPUTER IF YOUR ON AN OUTER ISLAND, but I brought it anyways…and it broke. I am guessing humidity, salt and ants took their toll on it and it just decided to give out. It was a boring month and a half with out it though, I will tell you that much. I thought I did a lot of reading before…nope. To give you an example in the past week along I have read The Red Tent, Water for Elephants, Truth and Beauty, and I am about half way through A Year of Living Biblically. The first and the last are the only ones I am really enjoying – but it’s a good thing the computer came back because next on my list is A People’s History of the United States. Anyone who knows me, knows that is NOT something I would pick up on the bookstore shelf and my list of reading material must be getting pretty low. Much relieved I have another source of entertainment now.

Well, it looks like there is a bit of catching up to do with life in Lukoj. Lucky for you not much has happened and you wont have to read a mini novel, like some previous make-up posts. We just finished quarter three and today marks the start of the 100 day countdown until my departure. The English language has yet to come up with a word that expresses the amount of excitement I retain for that day; July 6th. Indescribable. It goes without saying that leaving will be among the harder things I will have had to do in my life – to leave a place that has had such a profound impact on my life – however I will look both ahead and behind with a smile on my face; pound of what I have done and excited for where I am going. Ok enough about leaving I still have 2 months of teaching before we can really get talking about it.

Schooling in Lukoj is still progressing, however only in the sense that the days pass and we continue to go through the motions. No real improvements have taken place and infusing care for education into the community and students is proving to be a near impossible job. Is it me? Or is it just this place? I think its probably both. I have been really struggling with my oldest kids because they just don’t seem to care…AT ALL. They don’t do their homework, they don’t study, no form of behavior discipline seems to alter them and they are simply not interested. I tried making my lessons ‘out of the box’ and interesting but there is such a lack of responsibility and discipline that it is near impossible. There was a simple rule – no playing volleyball and baseball during the week on finals, and I think all but one kid broke that rule. And thought it was funny when they failed, or near failed their finals. Movie and I conducted a special meeting with the parents of class 6 and 7 and it was quite clear where they got their attention spans and motivation. Even discussing the fact that none of these kids are anywhere NEAR ready to go to high school, and they wont be if they continue behaving like this, the parents were all late, talking amongst themselves and really didn’t care one iota what jibberish was coming out of my mouth and filling the air around them. It was simply noises I think. We asked them to show a faint interest in their children’s education and encourage them to study at the least…but sadly I don’t think anyone really took much into real thought. So it goes though I guess.

The other classes have been going well and the weeks seem to fly by. Our garden is fully grown at this point and stealing is a regular problem. All of the people who wouldn’t help when I asked now feel it is their liberty to come and take all of the children’s, and my and JunJun’s hard work whenever they please – well at night when people can’t see them. It is very rare that we get to eat much from the garden and that is a bit of a frustration. Bit might be an understatement. No, it is. A big one. We just started our second round of seedlings though, and before we put them in the ground we are going to build a large fence with a netting around it – and then put a locking door in the entrance so people can’t enter without the key. Hopefully that may solve some problems. The amount of truth that can be found here is quite disheartening and unfortunate at times; however, to a coin there are always two sides and the amount of love and caring is at times overwhelming and creates the median. For every stolen cucumber or petty fib there is always a caring word or generous showing to put a smile back on my face. You learn to take the good with the not so good I suppose, and be thankful that you can end every day with something to smile about.

Here are some random happening that most likely would have made my blog – but since the time has passed aren’t really worth the full re-count.
- I did a face plant running…twice…and looked like a 5 year old that fell of a bike learning to ride for about a week. I fell once, got scraped up bad and then two days after tried to attempt a more successful run – however, face planted and reopened the gash in my hand a considerable amount. Needless to say I didn’t quite attempt running for a few more days.

- I cut myself making copra pretty bad and though I might need stitches – but butterfly band-aids did the trick and I am good to go. (Bad week for cuts! But…I’m a pro at cleaning them now.)

- Liza came out for a visit with her cousin from America and we had a nice fun weekend/holiday week in Arno. Taught them so fun ‘Marshallese’ type things and was harassed for the extent to which I have turned into a Marshallese person.

- Danielle also came for a weekend visit and we too had lots of fun. We did a whole lot of…well…nothing… and it was great. After the weeks you can have here, simply relaxing with someone that speaks English and doing nothing can be great.

- My Kindergarten class is still the best thing in the world and ceases to crack me up. Every day is a new pose when I walk in the door and they sing like the worst/best and funniest American Idol try out you can imagine, starting every class. I can face plant, be short two teachers and have all my cucumbers/tomatoes stolen in the same day and they will still make me smile. For our assembly they are all dressing up as ducks and singing 5 little ducks…it’s going to be phenomenal!

- Keith…you win the care package contest…with not only ingredients to make eggless cookie dough…but ACTUAL (3 month old/in the mail) cookie dough straight from Pillsbury. Hahaha disgustingly fantastic.

Ok – that’s all for now – pretty non-detailed summary – yet it still managed to be long. I have to work on the whole concise writing thing…not very good at it now.

Hope all is well in the states and I look forward to talking to people soon on my trip into Majuro over Spring Break. Take care.

xoxo
Taylor